"i will always try to hate you more than i love you.

loving you is a place i never want to go back to. hating you is hard, and wrong: mentally reeling back and slamming my fist to your face every time it swims into my mind is nothing that i want to do. but crushing myself against you, ever folded in your girlish arms, didn't work.

loving you, didn't work.

i wanted to spend my life in rooms with you, any room, any crowd, anywhere.

and now, i'd spend the rest of my days in any room you weren't in, so i don't ever have to stop pretending that i hate you harder than i ever loved you. so i don't ever have to feel like that again.

hate may be a double edged sword, but love is a slaughterhouse, full of knives."